Do you ever question if you're treating your child too harshly? Do you have any concerns that your expectations are too high? Do you ever wonder if the repercussions you hand down to your child are a little too harsh?
Parents are strict for various reasons, some of which are beneficial and others which are self-serving. Some parents have great expectations for their children; they instill self-discipline in their children by making them accountable.
These parents are concerned about their children's well-being. Some strict parents, on the other hand, are controlling because they are afraid of being labeled as inept parents if their children make mistakes. These parents are more preoccupied with their personal sentiments and uneasiness than with the well-being of their children.
Following are some characteristics of harsh parenting:
You give little to no reason for giving punishments
This type of parent is usually unafraid to use corporal discipline, which often includes spanking. When the rules are breached, they react quickly and aggressively rather than using positive reinforcement.
Your child tells a lot of lies
While it's natural for children to stretch the truth from time to time, study shows that harsh discipline breeds good liars. If you're excessively tough with your youngster, he or she will most likely lie to avoid punishment.
You follow a strict no-tolerance policy
While having clear guidelines is crucial, it's also critical to acknowledge that there are always exceptions to the rules. Show a willingness to examine your child's behavior in the context of the situation rather than taking an authoritative attitude on everything.
Your child is subjected to more restrictions than other children
There's nothing wrong with having rules that differ from those of your other parents. However, if you're consistently the most rigorous parent in the room, it may be an indication that your expectations are too high.
You have to deal with the lack of discipline of others
Strict parents have a hard time tolerating any other adult’s discipline style. It's fine for children to be exposed to adults who have diverse rules and discipline styles.
You've made a long list of rules for your child
Rules are beneficial, but too many of them can be detrimental. Keep your rules basic and just include the ones that are most important for your child to remember. Make a list of your household rules and keep it somewhere you can refer to it whenever you need it.
Shaming
Authoritarian parents can be harsh and shameful, using comments like "Why do you constantly do that?" to coerce their children into following the rules. "How many times do I have to say the same thing?" or "How come you can't do anything right?" Instead of focusing on strategies to improve their children's self-esteem, many parents believe that shaming will push them to do better.
Conclusion
While a strict or authoritarian method may work in instances when strict compliance to the rules is required, it can backfire when utilized as a parenting strategy.
It's a good idea to start searching for ways to use a more of a lenient style with your children if you've noticed that your parenting tends more toward the authoritarian end of the spectrum.