Do strict parents raise liars?
No parent wants their kids to grow up to become liars, but if you're the type of parent who is extremely rigid and follows the rules to the letter, you may be unknowingly raising them to be liars.
While strict and responsive parenting (authoritative) delivers the best results in children, strict and unresponsive parenting (authoritarian) creates negative outcomes such as behavioural issues, low self-esteem, self-control challenges, and mental health issues.
When people talk about strict parenting, they usually mean authoritarian parenting. Parents that are strict are the ones who:
- have a lot of stringent standards and are hard to please
- require that their child follow their instructions to the letter
- do not allow anyone to question a parent's authority
- any rule violation will be harshly punished.
- are unresponsive to their children.
- use humiliating and abrasive language
Strict parents raise liars and sneaky children
Strict parents demand complete obedience, compliance, and respect for authority, which is frequently achieved by harsh punishment. As a result, overbearing parents produce sly children. These youngsters have honed their acting skills. When their parents are not around, they behave nicely at home but act differently when they are not.
According to a study conducted by Victoria Talwar, a recognised researcher on children's social-cognitive development at McGill University, severe parenting tends to produce children who are skilled at deception. Due to the constant threat of punishment for any wrongdoing, the children of these parents learn to lie in order to avoid being punished for their crimes.
Since their parents do not provide a safe atmosphere for their children to tell the truth, children reared under rigorous restrictions become adept at lying and concealing information in order to avoid getting into trouble.
Strict parents also raise bullies
Fear is used by authoritarian parenting to elicit conformity. Bullying occurs when children do what others desire out of fear. To get what they desire, these children learn to use force and dominance over others. Children of authoritarian parents are more likely to become bullies or associates of bullies, according to studies.
How can parents use this information to improve their parenting?
Recognize the nature of lying and the degree to which it occurs.
We've already mentioned that there are different levels of lying, but it's also worth noting that the ability to lie can emerge spontaneously and is a true evidence of formative cognitive development. It's critical that you understand this since parents can sometimes respond harshly to innocent, main lies (which are often unconvincing and aimed to mask wayward behaviour).
Make your child's home a more forgiving environment.
In the end, a rigid parenting style simply seems to worsen cycles of lying and deception, which can become ingrained in your children and cause problems later in life. While it's important to keep an open and informed mind when your child lies, it's equally critical to foster a forgiving and understanding environment in which your children can make honest mistakes.
The idea is to approach each misdemeanour on its own merits, thoroughly assessing the circumstances and your child's actions before taking action. This period of thought will help you completely understand the circumstances and decide on an acceptable course of action if your child has made you angry.